onsdag 23 mars 2011

Chewbaccaförsvar i praktiken

South Park myntade termen Chewbaccaförsvar:

Johnnie Cochran: ...ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, I have one final thing I want you to consider. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Chewbacca. Chewbacca is a Wookiee from the planet Kashyyyk. But Chewbacca lives on the planet Endor. Now think about it; that does not make sense!

Gerald Broflovski: Dammit! ... He's using the Chewbacca defense!

Cochran: Why would a Wookiee, an 8-foot-tall Wookiee, want to live on Endor, with a bunch of 2-foot-tall Ewoks? That does not make sense! But more important, you have to ask yourself: What does this have to do with this case? Nothing. Ladies and gentlemen, it has nothing to do with this case! It does not make sense! Look at me. I'm a lawyer defending a major record company, and I'm talkin' about Chewbacca! Does that make sense? Ladies and gentlemen, I am not making any sense! None of this makes sense! And so you have to remember, when you're in that jury room deliberatin' and conjugatin' the Emancipation Proclamation, does it make sense? No! Ladies and gentlemen of this supposed jury, it does not make sense! If Chewbacca lives on Endor, you must acquit! The defense rests.

Ovanstående försvar har visat sig fungera väl i Sverige, bland annat i fallet där en misstänkt rattfyllerist klarade sig genom att förklara att en 120 cm lång "Mållgan" körde bilen men hann fly innan polisen hann fram. Några fler exempel på kreativt domstolsarbete:

- Från Boing Boing, där den åtalade vidhåller att han inte känner till begreppet "kopieringsmaskin", vilket resulterade i tio A4-sidor av förhör i stil med:

Marburger: How about this: Have you ever heard the term "photocopier" or "photocopy" used in the Recorder's office by anybody?

Patterson: Photocopy? I'm sure in the time I've been there someone has used the term.

Marburger: And have you ever heard them use it in referencing a particular device or machine within the Recorder's office? By way of example, "can you photocopy that for me?" That's an example of office parlance.

Patterson: That particular terminology I've not witnessed.

Marburger: What was the context that you've heard the term "photocopy" used in the Recorder's office?

Patterson: I'm sure it's been used. I didn't say I remembered a specific instance.

Och från Popehat, ur brev från försvarsadvokat angående en bilolycka:

“There is NO EVIDENCE that John Smith, Defendant, is not a FICTION. And THEREFORE UNABLE TO OPERATE AN AUTOMOBILE. And Affiant BELIEVES that no such evidence exists.”

Tidigare inlägg om South Park:
- South Park bang on target, som vanligt

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